Beyond My Reach
by gleek4klainealways
Summary: What if Blaine Didn't survive the Sadie Hawkins attack, nothing would've encouraged Kurt to have courage so he takes his own life. But when unfinished business gets in the way of moving on could there be a way for a happily ever after? A Klaine story with small bits of fluff and angst.
1. The Sadie Hawkins Incident

I can feel everything, but nothing at the same time. The last thing I remember was passing out outside 'Westerville Public Middle School'. I'm gay and some neanderthals thought that was grounds to beat up me and my best friend, Jacob (Who's also gay). The room's white,I hear a voice calling my name - "Blaine, Blaine, Blaine…" - getting louder and louder until I couldn't her anything else. A white light appeared at the end of the long room, I walked towards the light and the sound of my name this time joined with a timed beep; beep… beep… beep, I had reached the light once I reached here I would've found the person calling me, but my name was coming from inside the light tunnel. I walked into the light, the continuous beeps turned into one long sound almost like a flat line. Then all of a sudden I felt absolutely nothing, I was falling I wasn't scared I was at peace. Then everything went black.

Flatline? I this can't be Blaine can't be dead! My big brother can't be dead, he's invincible, he's Blaine! The doctors rushe into the room force me off his bed and out of the room. I watched from the window alone as they tried to resuscitate him, alone, my parents leave their son in the hospital with his 8 year old sister alone, it always happens we're always left alone, but now it's just me. I heard yelling behind me, I turned and saw Cooper, my oldest brother, yelling at the triage nurse. I ran to my brother, my eyes still flooded with tears, I flung my arms around him. He gently wrapped his arms around me tightly, tears in my eyes soaking his black t-shirt. By the time we had released Blaine's doctor had existed Blaine's room with a grim look on his face.

"I'm sorry, but we couldn't save your brother, I'm sorry for your loss."

I collapsed on the ground crying in sorrow, he's gone, the one person who made me feel like I'm not alone. When I was a baby he wrote me a song and would sing it to me every night when I would cry. I think of the lyrics now, the song that once brought me comfort now only hurt knowing I would never hear his voice sing to be on one of my bad days. Because no matter how bad his day was, as soon as I found out **I** had a bad day he'd do anything to make me happy. But now it doesn't matter anymore because he's gone, idiot jocks killed him. I went back into his room to say my final goodbye, I stepped in and for the first time I didn't see Blaine in the hospital, I saw his bruises: 4 cracked ribs, 3 broken ribs, broken left tibia, broken right humerus, fractured mandible, fractured eye socket, bloody knuckles, chipped left femur, 2 broken fingers, a black eye, and a "fat" lip. If I didn't know it was my brother I would've never recognized him.

"He fought them off of me." I turned around and Jacob was right there in a wheelchair with a sling on his left arm and a black eye. "Your brother saved my life, I may be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life but…." I flung myself into Jacob's arms and wailed.

I'm dead, I'm 14 and dead. I'm standing next to my cold dead body staring at my 8 year old sister cry into my best friend's arms, and I can do nothing to help. I've always prided myself at being there for her, to never let her feel as alone as I did when I was younger, and now I've failed, she'll probably feel alone forever. I went over to my little sister, who I've always been protective of, placed a hand on her back be whispered in her ear "I'm sorry Ana, I'm sorry I let you down." She shuttered and whipped her to look at me. Could she see me? Her eyes blue eyes red, her porcelain cheeks stained with marks of tears, my heart broke seeing her like this and knowing I was the cause. She kept looking around for the source of the sound. She wiped her tears and stood up, said her goodbyes to to Jacob as a nurse wheeled him out of the room leaving Ana alone. Suddenly our parents came through the door completely unannounced.

"Ana we need to go, I have a deposition in the morning." My father approach her and picked her up. My parents weren't cold it's just ever since my parents started their own firm time was more precise than anything.

"I'm sorry daddy I was just saying goodbye." He set her down and put a chair next to the bed for her to stand on, this time it was my mother who spoke

"It's okay sweetheart, we'll be waiting for you." Then she kissed my sister's head and left. She looked up at the ceiling then back at my body,

"Hi Blaine, I miss you already. I'm really going to miss the way you always made me feel better, everyday you found new ways to make me smile, weather it was a song you wrote it just learned, a joke you heard at school, or read a chapter of Harry Potter, you never gave up. And just know no matter what you never let me down. You showed me what courage really is." She bent down and kissed my cheek, I felt it, it felt like a ghost of a kiss, the last remaining feeling of a kiss lingered on my cheek. She got off the chair and joined my parents in the lobby, I followed them through the lobby, down the stairs. But when they went out the door I tried to follow except when I tried to leave it was if a barrier had be put up, there was something stopping me. I so I watched as my little sister got into the back of the family SUV and drove away.


	2. Ya I Have glee

(Takes place a year and a half later, in the episode Never Been Kissed)

Another shove, another locker, another day of torment. I'm used to it now, the dumpster tosses, the slushie facial,but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I get up off the ground and continue on my way to glee club where I'll have to smile and pretend everything's fine, even though I'm breaking inside. I step into the choir room and walk over to my usual chair in the back row. I have friends in glee, Tina, Mercedes, and all the guys stick up for me, it's just not enough to cancel out all the torment the football jocks relinquish, especially Karofsky. He may be the worst of them all, he sacrifices no chance to make my life a living hell, sometimes I think everyone would be better off without me bothering them with my gayness. Mr. Schue announces who we're competing against at sectionals; first is the Dalton Academy Warblers, which after announced Santana looked right at me and quipped

"Okay, hold up like a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head." I just gave her my best bitch glare. The rest of the day passed in a blur. We were doing _Boys vs Girls_ in glee and I tried [again] to make it apparent that I prefer the girls team, but unfortunately I was forced onto the boys team where we would just do another 90's rock mash-up like the last time. I went through my day, went home not bothering to stop at my dad's shop. Everything went on as normal until the next morning when Mr. Schue pulled me into his office.

'Is there anything I can do?" the glee club director was genuinely concerned for me.

"No this is my hill to climb alone." If I say something to him he has to tell the principal, and I don't know what Karofsky will do if I tell. The middle aged man spoke again.

"Can I be honest? I think it's getting to you. Usually this stuff rolls right off your back, but lately you've been belligerent, angry, pushing people away." he wasn't wrong it hurt, but it's the only way I know.

"Can I be honest with you? You, like everyone else at this school, are too quick to let homophobia slide. And your lesson plans are boring and repetitive. Boys versus girls? That doesn't challenge any of us."

"You mean because I didn't let you join the girls like you wanted?" I didn't want to seem like I was asking,

"To answer your question, yes. I'm unhappy. And yes, being the only out gay kid at this school gets me down. But most of all, I'm not challenged in the least here." Then I gathered my things and walked out of the office. Later that day in glee club Mr. Schue told us that the boys will be doing songs traditionally sung by girls, and the girls vise versa. This is it Hummel, the moment you've been waiting for to show the whole glee club what you can do. We broke off into the groups, and I without missing a beat pulled out everything I had from my locker that would ensure us the win. Needless to say the boys shot me down hard, so as Noah 'suggested' I went to Dalton academy. The outside building was gorgeous, as was the inside. I wandered around for what felt like forever until I was convinced I was walking around in circles, taking the only other route I was sure I hadn't taken I descended a beautiful case of marble stairs. I stopped just steps from the bottom, feeling lost and hopeless, I continued to walk the school until I heard the opening notes of B.O.B's airplanes. I followed the sound until I reached a huge room, packed with students all watching the glee club and cheering. The song was flawless and perfectly performed. I left the school without ever being noticed, which I was glad for but hopelessly optimistic that wouldn't be the case. I reported back to the boys what I had seen and then was told I could leave. On my way out Karofsky gave me a particular hard shove into the lockers, and that when it was clear in my mind no one would miss me. I got into my car and drove to 'Hummel Tires and Lube' I've worked here since I was little, more so after my mom died. The garage is nothing special, just a small place in the middle of Lima. I sat there thinking about what I would say to him, I came up with a ton of different choices but none of them seemed right.

I realized I had been sitting in my truck for eight minutes so I decided to get out and talk to my dad one last time. I walked into the shop, the smell of oil immediately filled my nose, I saw my dad under the hood of someone's convertible mini cooper, so I just waited soon enough he'd look up and see me. Standing here reminded me of the week I joined glee club over a year ago. I joined after he threatened to take away my sewing machine, a year ago I stood here wanting to tell him so badly I was gay, I remember saying to myself "I'm gay dad, please don't stop loving me, but I'm gay." but I didn't. I didn't tell him for over a month . I was brought out of my thoughts when my dad saw me and called me over, I smiled, well sorta. It was one of those 'good to see you smiles' he asked how my day was, I told him it was fine. I didn't want to worry him especially after his heart attack last month. We made small talk for about five minutes until he was called away, before he left I hugged him and I swear a tear slid down my cheek. I hugged him for as long as I could, this is the last time I'll ever see my dad. But without my designer wardrobe cost he'll have more money to take Finn to football games, and one day marry Carol. He can give them the life they deserve, the life they never had. When we released thank god he didn't look me in the eyes, I quickly whipped the tears from my eyes. Before he walked to far away I called out to him "Hey dad!"

"Ya kiddo?" He said to me when he turned around

"I love you." I looked into his eyes and resisted the urge to run into his arms and tell him everything. He walked back over to me, placed his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye, as if he knew.

"I love you too Kurt." Then he turned around and walked away. I whispered a small goodbye under my breath and walked towards the door. I opened the solid door and saw that it began to downpour, as if the sky knew what I was doing and was begging me to stop. I ran through the rain to my truck and slammed the door. I stared through the windshield at my dad's shop remembering every memory of my life here, tears were flowing from my eyes. I whipped them away, put my SUV in reverse and pulled away from Hummel Tires and Lube one last time.

When people say their life flashed before their eyes I think they mean it's like a movie played in their head of their entire life, giving a sense of nostalgia of the life they're leaving behind. But for me every moment until I was eight have a person who was no longer in my life, my mom. She died in a car crash, the same crash that paralyzed Artie. There were friends that left, but all of these thoughts remind me that all good things end. To be honest it feels like my life ended around freshman year. One day I woke up and ever since then I haven't really felt the purpose of life. By this time I pulled into our driveway, I grabbed my umbrella from the back and my bag from the passenger seat. I opy door to the howling wind calling me home. Reaching the front door made my life feel final, like with my heart's desire gone the book is ending. But it didn't hurt, actually it made me smile. Because when I die, my heart will finally be whole. Walking through the house I remember birthday parties, piano lessons, teaching dad to cook, Friday dinners, all special memories I hope my family holds close to them. I walked down the stairs to my room thinking of my single ladies dance with Tina and Brittany and pretending to be straight. Grabbing a pen and a notebook I sat down on my bed and began to write a note to everyone I was leaving behind.

"Goodbye, I suppose anyone reading this knows that by now. I didn't kill myself because I hate my life, I have the greatest life But I'm missing something. And once I reach wherever you go afterwards I would find the missing part of my heart. Don't cry for me, I'm happy now. A feeling in my soul saying you were half now you're whole has been fulfilled, a missing puzzle piece now I'm complete."

There were tear stains gracing the paper I wrote my last words on. Nothing shocking or significant, just me putting down my soul so the people I loved most know I wasn't whole when I was with them. With that I went to the garage got some rope, and went back to my room. I tie the rope to the rafters of my ceiling where I would hang. I took the chair from my vanity, looked down at my outfit, deeming it acceptable as my last. With everything in perfect order I stepped up onto the chair, adjusted the rope around my neck, and with one final breath fell.


End file.
